Lessons Along the Path: True Vision

“Don’t try constantly to explain or define for other’s gratification who and what you are. Let your actions, and your inner reality, speak for you.  Never try, without some good and definite reason, to justify your actions, ideas, or accomplishments. Whatever you’ve done, give it mentally to God.”

                                                                                Swami Kriyananda, from his work “Sadhu, Beware!”

 Of the many lessons I have worked on in my studies of self-realization, the above was perhaps the most challenging. Owning a spiritual/holistic retail store and wellness center located in our region’s most prominent shopping avenue, I get asked questions many times a day about who I am and why I am doing what I am doing.  Of course, when I chose the location I did so to gain access to the most people with the hopes of being able to help others find their way to God, improve the quality of their life, and make a difference in the world.  I did not however, anticipate so many sarcastic remarks, confused browsers, or being labeled “Satanic” or “Witch” or as someone who was not at all aligned with God merely because they did not understand an item or service I offered.  There were even those who implied that our store is an eye sore to this prestigious shopping district and commented that we should relocate to a space on a side street.  In the four years of business before moving to this location, which is just 5 blocks east from where we were, we had a completely different experience. Our customer’s excitement and the prosperity they shared with us were how we were able to expand in the first place. But where we all those happy faces now?  Even the local media coverage on us was mixed to say the least. What happened to our old clientele and why weren’t we making so many more new ones?  I was truly confused and wondered if I had made a mistake.

With such an unwelcome Grand Opening, I became overwhelmed with trying to prove myself to be intelligent, competent, and show to the community that I wasn’t all the bad things they assumed I was. I touted to anyone who asked a long and rather impressive resume of training and experiences, but to the novice those titles meant little. I tried to assure them that I was a specialist in holistic medicine and dedicated to what I am doing. However, my efforts  did not seem to help the trend of skepticism.

 To expand our chances of staying open, I began stocking products, to serve customer’s wishes, that I was not an expert in.  I hired a couple of people whose vision didn’t align with the store because, when I really thought about it, I was too afraid of the potential harm they could do in the form of gossip if I didn’t give them a try.  Besides, I figured every person who is affiliated with us will advertise via word of mouth for us, and why shun anyone who has the potential to help us grow.  The store energy felt uneasy, unfocused, and tense.  It started to become a drain to come to work, and I was feeling as if I was a stranger in my own store.  The co-owner and I would sometimes have petty fights that escalated to larger than they needed to be. What I didn’t realize was that the tension was our own doubts of whether or not we deserved to be here, and that our own fears were keeping us in this pattern.

 Then one eventful day, I was presented with the opportunity to change the pattern.  Two women, significantly older than myself, came in to shop for gemstones.  Upon encountering my assistant, a young 20 year old woman, they commented (slightly rudely) that the business would do so much better if we hired a “real” Reiki Master.  Naïve to the tone of  their comments, she described that she was a Reiki Master, and then went on to explain in details that they were unwilling to hear, of all the additional education and experiences which qualified her to be our assistant manager.  No matter what she said to justify her position, they found a way to counteract it. They bombarded her with judgments which were very insulting, and she was becoming very emotional, yet retained her composure to never meet their insults with ones of her own. What was worse was that there were other people in the store and I could tell they were feeling tense being caught in the middle of this exchange.

I decided to intervene by sending her out of the conversation to help someone in the book area.  I asked the women if they “were finding what they were looking for”, and soon enough they began their assault on me, repeating much of the same with me as they did with my helper.  However, rather than engage them as she had, I commented on the real question that they were implying but not actually saying.  “It appears to me that you do not understand how someone younger than yourselves could have achieved the same level as you have. My answer is that energy has no bounds and we all encounter certain life lessons at different points along the path. Our spirits and therefore our potential are more than the age of our bodies.”   

 After stating this out loud, it stopped their line of questioning. They made their round of the store and even gathered purchases.  I was startled at the outcome, because I wasn’t even sure where those words came from. I amazed myself of the wisdom and insight I had, and that I was able to end the exchange amicably. Then the reality really came to me.

 How could I expectfor them to act in any other way when here I was, in my own store, not staying true to myself and my vision.  Their inquiries of the place needing a “real” master were accurate- after all- a “real” master would never allow the comments of others to persuade their judgment, go against the call of Spirit, and affect them in the ways that previous comments had affected me.  There is more to true knowledge than simply completing a program or obtaining a certain rank. A true Master lives the life daily, renewed by the very faith and knowledge that qualified him or her to be seen as a Master in the first place.  True mastery is not selling your vision due to popular demand and going against your personal principles to be seen better in someone’s eyes. The only person who may have affected my credibility was myself. I allowed those who had limited understanding dictate my actions, and as such, I proved what limited understanding I had.

 While the ladies were still in the store, I spoke to my assistant in detail about the mistakes I had made, and explained to her that we were experiencing a lesson in character.  I explained that we had attracted that exchange of words by not living totally up to our beliefs and from that moment on, there would be no more of it.  I told her that we are not here for everyone, but we welcome everyone.  The work we do is for the Greater Good for those who wish to seek it.  We are not here to shove it down their throats nor should we take it personal if they do not want what we offer.  It was my personal choice to walk this path and I do so because it is my truth. I cannot automatically make others see it my way, nor am I by catering to their requests by stocking products that conflict with my views. After years of determination to open the store of my dreams, I sold out in the first glimmer of an obstacle, and while I had a business license with my name on it, it wasn’t my store, my vision, and my passion.  I manifested exactly what I didn’t want, and these ladies were a wonderful reminder of that mistake.

  We went through the store and removed from its shelves the items that did not represent our mission and put them on a clearance rack.  We also decided that we would no longer sell any items that we ourselves didn’t have full knowledge of, but that we would custom order items that customers had grown accustomed to us providing for them.  I basically decided to take my store back, regardless of opinion, and if it failed then it failed because others didn’t share in my vision as opposed to me trying to be something I am not.

 The energy change was immediate, and in days it felt and looked like a whole new store.  Now, when they ask us the same questions they used to three years ago, we rarely encounter arguments or judgments. In fact, my youthful appearance for age 35 has been quite the boon for business, as women want to learn my secrets for looking so good.  Most are impressed of what I have achieved at such an early age, that they see so it goes to show you that now that I have developed inner confidence it is being outwardly reinforced.  I learned that all events, the good and the not so pleasant, are mirrors of the soul, so if I do not like something, I simply need to look within.

 For those of you interested in learning more about Self-Realization, you can visit Swami Kriyananda’s site, Ananda at www.ananda.org